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  1. #1171
    Bedeviere's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Queldorei View Post
    Didn't I give you the sample to be reviewed? Not to be asked for more :3
    I got some points to be reviewed for you, but I will write ‘em all later this midnight after I’m home from work

    Quote Originally Posted by Queldorei View Post
    Someday maybe. Actually, we almost finished the sequel. Yeah, we made the sequel first, but co-writer said we were taking too much element of lore from a certain game and it somewhat makes him feel uneasy to continue the sequel.
    Exactly how I feel when I was developing a warcraft fanfic. I realized having too much lore might alienated some of my readers

    I decided to start developing some original stories in the end

    Quote Originally Posted by C~- View Post
    ehmmm I have bad mood today......

    boring all day

    i need job...... do you have job

    I am unemployed

    What kind of job you’re looking for, carlos?
    Last edited by Bedeviere; 12-10-17 at 19:30.

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  3. #1172

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    accounting , audit , economic, hrd , lecturer @Bedeviere;

    hope you have one

    +==================

    insurance agent is good job if you have relationship and customer

    I need job that can make money

    huhuhuhuhuhu

    desperatee

    @Nt4ps;

  4. #1173
    Bedeviere's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by C~- View Post
    accounting , audit , economic, hrd , lecturer @Bedeviere;

    hope you have one

    +==================

    insurance agent is good job if you have relationship and customer

    I need job that can make money

    huhuhuhuhuhu

    desperatee

    @Nt4ps;
    Have you considered using social media for jobs like linkedin, jobDB, and jobstreet?

  5. #1174

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bedeviere View Post
    Have you considered using social media for jobs like linkedin, jobDB, and jobstreet?
    Of course, I Have... but maybe a lot of job seeker

    I dont know whats wrong with me

    huhuhuhuhu

    I dont get job invitation

  6. #1175
    Nt4ps's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by C~- View Post
    accounting , audit , economic, hrd , lecturer @Bedeviere;

    hope you have one

    +==================

    insurance agent is good job if you have relationship and customer

    I need job that can make money

    huhuhuhuhuhu

    desperatee

    @Nt4ps;
    Absolutely, and good marketing skills
    Errrrr or you can try to be a dropshipper its good without having any asset at start
    Never force anything, just let it be
    If it's mean to be, it will be.

    -Luck is no excuse-
    -Luck does not exist-

  7. #1176
    Queldorei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bedeviere View Post
    Exactly how I feel when I was developing a warcraft fanfic. I realized having too much lore might alienated some of my readers

    I decided to start developing some original stories in the end
    It's their lawsuit that fears him the most. To both of us to be exact. Even we had to change the name of one of our most prominent characters so we can safely use this character if we are to publish this novel commercially.
    Sometimes, revenge is justice in its purest form.
    -Jazdia Crystalspark

  8. #1177
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    @Queldorei;

    Spoiler untuk Duar :
    Suara pendek melengking milik gadis itu sontak membuat yang lain mundur beberapa langkah. Tak ada yang mau berakhir seperti pemimpin mereka, atau kaki tangannya yang baru saja merengek pulang dengan hidung berdarah setelah ditinju gadis itu.
    I'm a bit confused about this part. The scene opening up with only this Nort character getting beaten. And suddenly there's another boy getting beaten during the scene and he went home already?

    Jazdia menarik lengan anak laki-laki lain dan menjauh dari tempat itu dengan setengah berlari.
    I thought Jazdia was snatching another Nort's boy, only to realize he really doesn't and he's a friend. Maybe you should elaborate more on this part?

    Setelah sejenak mengatur napas, Jazdia melepaskan pegangganya, lantas menjauh beberapa langkah dan menyandarkan tubuhnya di bawah sebuah pohon.
    Is this a typo?

    Overall this is a good prologue. I get to know the main traits of Jazdia and Faldiar. I'm also curious about Jazdia and Nort next encounter, and about how she get that sapphire. Good job



    Quote Originally Posted by Queldorei View Post
    It's their lawsuit that fears him the most. To both of us to be exact. Even we had to change the name of one of our most prominent characters so we can safely use this character if we are to publish this novel commercially.
    Anyway, I feel a bit weird having to review an Indonesian writing piece using English. And I also have some concern about how this writing piece is going to be commercially published. Perhaps we should use pm for the next chapters?
    Last edited by Bedeviere; 12-10-17 at 23:32. Reason: forgot to spoiler -_-

  9. #1178
    Queldorei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bedeviere View Post
    @Queldorei;
    Anyway, I feel a bit weird having to review an Indonesian writing piece using English. And I also have some concern about how this writing piece is going to be commercially published. Perhaps we should use pm for the next chapters?
    There is some kind of glitch in our private message system, I cannot track any sent message whatsoever.

    Anyway, thanks for the short review, as you can see, we barely finished chapter two, so I do expect a lot of changes in this draft.
    Last edited by Queldorei; 12-10-17 at 23:58.
    Sometimes, revenge is justice in its purest form.
    -Jazdia Crystalspark

  10. #1179
    Bedeviere's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Queldorei View Post
    There is some kind of glitch in our private message system, I cannot track any sent message whatsoever.

    Anyway, thanks for the short review, as you can see, we barely finished chapter two, so I do expect a lot of changes in this draft.
    I don't see any problem in mine, can you show me a screenshot?

    You're welcome

  11. #1180
    Queldorei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nt4ps View Post
    Ahhh common issues of being writer I bet that your co-writer isn't a gamers, isn't he?
    By the way, keep the spirit!
    He is a gamer but we have a bit different taste of genre. I enjoy fantasy and sci-fi RPG game, while he fond to FPS/shooting game.

    Quote Originally Posted by Nt4ps View Post
    By the way, keep the spirit
    Thanks
    Sometimes, revenge is justice in its purest form.
    -Jazdia Crystalspark

  12. #1181
    Queldorei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bedeviere View Post
    I don't see any problem in mine, can you show me a screenshot?

    You're welcome
    Sometimes, revenge is justice in its purest form.
    -Jazdia Crystalspark

  13. #1182
    Bedeviere's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Queldorei View Post
    Do you set this setting to "Save a copy of sent messages blabla"?


  14. #1183
    Queldorei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bedeviere View Post
    Do you set this setting to "Save a copy of sent messages blabla"?

    So, any sent item is not automatically be saved unless I checklist the option? =_= damn it!
    Sometimes, revenge is justice in its purest form.
    -Jazdia Crystalspark

  15. #1184
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    Quote Originally Posted by Queldorei View Post
    So, any sent item is not automatically be saved unless I checklist the option? =_= damn it!
    Yeah... It's pretty crappy

  16. #1185
    Queldorei's Avatar
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    Well... I enjoy my time when developing this character, but honestly, I am wondering all of the traits I give will make her drift into the Mary-Sue archetype.
    Sometimes, revenge is justice in its purest form.
    -Jazdia Crystalspark

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