The Diary

the attitude.the feeling.the taste.the problem.the truth.the fact.the hurt.the happiness.and the risk.

my life is a fantasy
i don't ? a phalacy.
i'm tired of philosophy
i think that i know where i wanna be
i'm tired of making plans
i don't wanna feel i can understand
i'm tired but i wanna be
i'll see today what i wanna see
i'll see...

right now, my head is a supernova
when i get f##ked up my life is over
my life is over
my life...

i'm tired of the thought of me
my life is the way that it oughta be
you and me are all alone
you know that's the way that i wanna be

when im on my own
my life feels like something i've been thrown
it's not that i'm not pleased with it
sometimes i don't feel at ease with it
i'm tired!

right now, my head is a supernova
when i get f##ked up my life is over

my life is over
my life is over
my life is over
my life is over
my life is over

it gives me pain, when i think of you
and the things together that we'll never do
at first it's code, and then it's hot
tried to be someone that Iiknow I'm not

i'm in trouble, and i know it
how i'm feeling, i can't show it
but these feelings, don't go away

i remember you, lines on your face
sharing a moment in the perfect place
i'm deep in your eyes, and inside your head
and i try to reach you, when i'm in my bed

there is no choice, in what i must do
nothing is greater than to be with you

i dont't know why we have to argue every single day?
you said i'm a child
but you just don't realise the way you thought
scares me about our future
everything i do doesn't seems enough for you
everything doesn't seems right for you
and i'm tired
give me just a little time
i can't stand this situation anymore!

now you say you're lonely
you cry the long night through
well, you can cry me a river
cry me a river
i cried a river over you

now you say you're sorry
for being so untrue
well, you can cry me a river
cry me a river
i cried a river over you

you drove me, nearly drove me, out of my head
while you never shed a tear
remember, i remember, all that you said
you told me love was too plebeian
told me you were through with me and

now you say you love me
well, just to prove that you do
come on and cry me a river
cry me a river
i cried a river...over you...

a friend said to me "all men may fall into you"

but how deep they can be? how far they can show? how long they can stay?

nothing is last forever

everything is beautiful at the start and then hurt in the end

she's got blink eyelash
she's got blink shadows in her eyes
she's got blink lips color
she's got blink earring
she's got blink accessories
she's got blink in her top
she's got blink in her shoes

she's blink-blink
she thought about blink all the time
she's blink mind like "yaw-yaw i'm sweet and i love to look so cute with the blink-blink things in me"

she just can't live without the blink-blink thing

poor her she's got nothing in her brain

there's a fairytale
you never learned to read or write
like an oyster shell
you never learned to look inside

you're not like me
my duty speaks and it moves my feet
i love to be free
i don't like to make so much plans
i live freely

you don't understand
just like the rock in my head
you won't understand
because you never cared to look inside
never cared and never cared!

your sadness don't lie
your feelings can't hide
you always know why
but your reasons are sly
you never deny
what you feel inside

i disappear when you're not here in my life

i can't slip away when i see your face
i lose my confusion
your love is the place where i come from
when i'm on my own
i'm lost in space
my freedoms a delusion
your love is the place where i come from

my sadness don't lie
my feelings can't hide
i just can't deny
what i feel inside

there's no future so don't fake it
don't know if you're going to make it
when everything becomes unclear

i'm tired and i'm broken
my true feelings remain unspoken
i couldn't hide behind your name

i'm excited and ecstatic
my exit was so dramatic
when all your passion disappeared

i am no sucker so don't blow it
i'm succeeding but you don't know it
i've got to turn yourself around

she knows that i've been doing something wrong
but she won't say anything
she thinks that i was being honest all the time
but she won't mind me lying

because

mama stands for comfort
mama will hide the murderer

it breaks the cage, and fear escapes
just like a crowd rioting inside
(make me do this, make me do that, make me do this, make me do that...)
am i the cat that takes the bird?
to her the hunted, not the hunter

she’s just know that i’m her little girl, i could do something wrong and she always forgive and watching me
never said anyword when i did something bad, even she’s hurting she’s just watching me
and when i run away from her then suffer she’s just asking me to come home and forgive
telling me i don’t have to worry because i have her and she will protect me even she doesn’t have that much power to do
she said i have nothing to worry because life is always about mom and her beloved child
no matter how hard, she said i will always be her little girl

mama stands for comfort
mama will hide the murderer
mama hides the madman
mother will stay mama

i wish i could turn back time and tell you how much you mean to me

i miss you mama. you’re in heaven. you’re save and you will always be mama in me

with my hand in your hand
we were both happy again
you started taking sides
we started arguing
you said it was my fault
i said it wasn't at all
but the truth lies somewhere in the middle

where angels fear to tread
you go rushing in
i had to tell you then
and now i'm telling you again

stay out of this
you must not interfere
don't you see this is
between a man and a woman?

every day and night i pray
pray that you will stay away forever
it's so hard for love to stay together
with your fussy east pressures
i don't want to say it,
but i had to tell you then,
and now i'm telling you again

stay out of this
oh, i know you mean to help me
and i know you've good intentions
but stay out of this
this isn't your problem
do not interfere--you are not needed here--
let the pendulum swing
between a man and a woman.
don't you see? you're in the way--between a man and a woman--

you're full of plan
much logic
i am with my mind
my paradoxical mind--you said--
i said FVCK the rules
you're robot
you won't understand

every day and night i pray
let the pendulum swing
this is between a man and a woman
between a man and a woman

when you wish you could turn back time and wishing you didn't be in the place you were stand now

crying inside your heart, screaming!

can't ever tell

stuck! crash! desperate!

this is when the miserable come in to your life

been bought and i've been sold
i've forgot what i've been told
and now i need someone
of all the stars i've ever seen
where's the sun?

hang on
i've not forgotten all the tricks
that you've done


i'm going underground to reassess
just what i've found
and all that i can do
been blinded by my feelings for you
now i can go with a smile

but i need someone

i don't want control of you
doesn't matter to me
the very heart and soul of you
are places i wanna see

everyday i look in a different face
feelings getting stronger with every embrace

i don't want a world of pain
falling so much tears
don't want this love to stay the same
growing with every year

tired of situations
that mean nothing to me
you've been a pain figure for me

i can't find my way home
stuck in time since i moved on

what i've got is what's here
what you say is what i hear
far away life don't come near

where i go...
and i know where i go wrong
i don't know where i belong

my mind's made up and i know why
seasons change and time goes by

what i've found has changed me
change is what you can't see
being home is what found me

i need shoulder to cry on

i don't want to waste your time
and the thought of you is tearing me apart

had a name but now that's gone
i don't know where i went wrong
now i'm all alone and drifting in the dark

take me back to what i know
cause i don't know where to go
and i'm finding it so hard to stay in tune

it's hard to comprehend
getting closer to the end
and i hope that i'll be feeling better soon

now i'm just a fading light
but i want to feel alright
and i hope that someone can help me through the days

and i find it hard to sleep
i find it so hard to get through
do you think about me when i go away

it's so hard
to fall in love
for i have knowing what i know
for i've been seeing all the things i've seen

maybe i should crawl away for a while
maybe i shouldn't smile so much
who is the one with the killing secret?

i've counted the times
thinking over and over
every word we had to say

now i know what want is
another chance to reach too high
nothing will last forever and ever
now i'm just a jerk in a long, long line

been burned and with both feet on the ground
i've learned that it's painful coming down
no use running away, and there's no time left to stay
now i'm finding out that it's so confusing
no time left and i know i'm losing

i think im falling down,
crashed! and my ears can't hear a sound
my eyes can't see
my mind can't think

desperate!

it's just everything i do
what we did together
left a little piece of you
in whatever

YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE I WANT!


every guy is not you
every guy can't do what you do
every guy can't make me laugh and cry at the same time
let's change things
let's danger it up
we're crazy enough
i just can't take it

but still

YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE I WANT


i don't want to leave
sugar?...
honey?...
baby?...

electro boy.. electro boy.. with laser gun electro boy
electro boy.. don't you know i didn't do nothing electro boy
i was alone in my dark room and no one knows oh electro boy
electro boy.. electro boy.. with laser gun and i was alone

thinking of him all night long
with the saddest song
i only cry and felt so wrong
when everything was gone
was gone
was gone
was gone

oh help me! electro boy

electro boy.. electro boy.. with laser gun electro boy
electro boy.. don't you know i'm not a criminal electro boy
i wanna tell him that i love him and he doesn't know oh electro boy
electro boy.. electro boy with laser gun and i lose control

don't you know? i didn't do nothing
don't you know? i was alone and i loose control

[sobbing] [sobbing [sobbing] [sobbing] [sobbing] [sobbing]

what have been through 'till today
i don't know... where's the happiness?

everyone seems seek for happiness
but what happiness means to everyone?
how do peoples describe a happiness?
tell me...

live in peace is a happiness
being in the right place is a happiness
spending lifetime with our beloved is happiness
working in comfort environment is a happiness

but where's my happiness?

where is people's heart?
where is the kindness?
where is mercy?
where is affection?

everyone seems never cared to look inside

people blaming each other
people screwing each other
people quarreling each other
people revenge each other

it's make me fed up

all i hear is raindrops falling on the rooftop
tell me why do you have to go
cause this pain i feel it won’t go away
and today i’m officially missing you


i thought that from this heartache, i could escape
but i’ve fronted long enough to know
there ain’t no way
and today i’m officially missing you


can’t nobody do it like you
said every little thing you do
said it stays on my mind
and i’m officially...


all i do is lay around, my days full of tears
from looking at your face on the photo
just a week ago you were my baby
now i don’t even know you at all, I don’t know you at all


i wish that you would call me right now
so that i could get through to you somehow
i guess it’s safe to say
that i’m officially missing you


i thought i could just get over you
but i see there’s something i just can’t do
from the way you would hold me
to the sweet things you told me
i just can’t find a way to let go of you

so confused
i almost threw it all away for you
you took me higher
and you dropped me lower
than i've ever been before

shockkk!!!
if i have a heart attack
it's because i'm into you too much
if i have a heart attack
wave bye-bye
may be you'll miss me
then you could think all over what have you bring into my life

i waste so much love on you

i don't want anything...

i don't need anything...

i can't go back again...

you fake me to a high...

wish that i could close my eyes
and stop this room from moving
because any sound could cause surprise

won't someone come see me
and change my weather


i still feel so down
and low ...
so down ...
and so low ...


why don't you be me???


i don't want this feeling to stay the same


i just wanna come down slow and nice

a someday is unpredictable
it could be in short time
it could be a long time
i don't wanna dream about someday
because i live for today
i don't wanna think about that someday
because i don't even know if i can live 'till tomorrow


but what was i thinking in my head ...


that i could back to that time
the time when we're still together
that i'm not sleeping alone
the time that i could smell you beside me
and all i know is all about you and me
our bedroom avenue
the feeling when you make love to me and i make love to you
we're so close, we're one...

that i wish that time is stopping
i don't wanna face tomorrow
i don't want another day
because that day
the day we were so in love and meant to be
i don't wanna face tomorrow because may be i'm going to loosing you
i just want the day to stop and everything is just us

i wanna do all the stupid things together
our foolish thought about the world and people
but we're in same visions
you and i...
we were so in love

that is not a dream
but my fantasy
a fantasy that i don't know when i could go back to that time
missing and loosing you.. making me hard to breath


i just don't want to dream about someday..
i want to live for tomorrow
i want to live for what is real


it's you the destiny..
it's you..

some of us... are meant to be suffer
but we still have to live
beacause we have to wait and see how the story ends

destiny..
may be is the bridge that you made for the one you love to reach you

i wish everyone and me to have a happy ending
and wisdom to look for it

day one

no doubt
you're gonna be thinking
i'll run out
that's where you're so mistaken
you take me to a high
of just no other kind

i don't want anything (but you)

the size
just seems to get bigger
the prize is, well, just go figure
When i think way back when
i can't go back again

i don't want anything (but you)

my half
i thought i'd be stronger
but my path
to you just seems longer
you fake me to a high
of just no other kind

don't want anything (but you)

screw me, you try

i'm gonna kill some
i'm gonna free some
i'm gonna lose someone
i'm gonna taste (fake?) some
i'm gonna want some
i'm gonna believe (need?) someone

what you're feeding me
don't make a mark of me
i don't bruise so easily
no scars inside

i tell it face to face
got no time to taste
my memory's your fate
no scars inside

send me alone

AAHHH... you motherfvkcer!

i only hear what i want to
i talk so all the time so
i thought what i felt was simple
i thought that i don't belong
and now that i am leaving
i don't know if i did something wrong cause i missed you
i missed you

i don't listen hard
don't pay attention to the distance that you're running
to anyone, anywhere
i don't understand if you really care
i'm only hearing negative : no.. no.. no..

i thought i'd live forever, but now i'm not so sure
you won't take me anyhow, or anywhere with you

you said that i was naive
and i thought that i was strong
i thought "hey, i can leave, i can leave"
but now i know that i was wrong, cause i missed you
i missed you

you said you caught me cause you want me and one day you'll let me go
you try to give away a keeper, or keep me cause you know you're just scared to lose
and you say you "stay"
but you don't

one day you see a strange little girl look at you
one day you see a strange little girl feeling blue
she'd run to the town one day
leaving home and the country fair

strange little girl
she didn't know how to live in a town that was rough
it didn't take long before she knew she had enough
walking home in her wrapped up world
she survived but she's feeling old
and she found all things cold

strange little girl
where are you going?

and i was talking to you
and i knew then it would be
but i didn't know that we
we could break a silver lining

and i'm so sad
like a good book
i can't put this day back

things you said that day
i tried to downplay it
with a bet about us
as long as i could
i could not erase it

and i rode along side you then
till you lost me there in the open road

i could pick back up
whenever i feel

i could taste heaven perfectly
feel out the summer breeze
didn't know when we'd be back
and i don't
i didn't think
we'd end up like
like this

and it's so strange the way you've changed
you knew me well
now i can tell you don't know anything

you let me down again
you drove me to the end

how can you say
after all we've done together
it's gonna take forever
to mend what's come apart
how can you say
that you never meant to hurt me
you didn't dare alert me
to your poisoned heart

before too long
something is wrong
tell me you're too sick to mention
show me about your good intention
give me all of your attention
but i don't believe a word
don't believe a word

i hate to say but
you know you're growing older
and your eyes are getting colder
and your hair is falling out
there'll be a day
when your confidence is shaken
and you know you were mistaken
you'll have your doubts

she's reformed.
just like the neighbor's girl
she's coming home
into her wonder world

she's moving fast
she's a superstar
she's getting high
she covers up her scars

it's the best thing she's ever had

it's the best thing she's ever had..

anyway, you will take what you need
anyway, you will take it from me
straight to the ledge
loose yourself in the sound
i know how you'll go down

anyway, you will get what you want
why should i wait for that day to come?
straight to the ledge
one last smile and you're gone
step out over the edge
as if nothing is wrong

it will be quick and painless and easy
i don't want you to leave me
but you'll go anyway

life was good to me
but you just made it better
i love the way you stand by me
through any kind of weather

i don't wanna run away
just wanna make your day
when you fell the world is on your shoulders
don't wanna make it worse
just wanna make us work
tell me i will do whatever

it feels like nobody ever knew me until you knew me
feels like nobody ever loved me until you loved me
feels like nobody ever touched me until you touched me
nobody.. until you

it just took one hit of you now i'm addicted
cause i never thought i'd feel
all the things you made me feel
i wasn't looking for someone until you
you look so good
that i don't want to let you go