Anybody here VERY interested in Writing (English)?

[AzerArcacia]

@Ceridwyn

LOL...sometimes...I read it unconsciously. (Well, It'd be to damn suck reading at a low speed, and sometimes, I'd go "Wait...I have read this?")

@reb3llist

btw, where's the spoiler?

I thought it was in your siggy. But I guess not.==a

Introductions, meh

That's really important, but I always think the same

@Senichi Saga

Yep. I made it myself. Still, the result is just so-so. I only tried using photoshop to do the lineart. (which I found earlier it's better using SAI)

okay...enough talking about this stuff it's somehow OOT

[reb3llist]

@Ceridwyn

Even when I'm reading in any way I wouldn't finish any Harry Potter book in 3 hours. I mean wtf. I can only finish 50 pages in half an hour last time I checked. I always re-read stuff I don't understand and sometimes I still find myself asking,"Uhh wtf did I read this one?"

Spoiler untuk end of Chapter 1 at present time :

After explaining to the monitor and filing for a patent on a drunk-proof sensor with the aforementioned monitor, I am told to go to class. Which I did so very promptly.

While heading towards class, I suddenly think of inventions everywhere. Like an automatic toilet for one, or a pocket toilet. Another one would be the portable ink dispenser for pens. How about AI-controlled fly-swatters? A super guitar-flute thing where you can blow the flute on the guitar as well as strum it? That'd be a brilliant bit of device, definitely. Or super-beds that fly to you when you need sleep? That'd be brilliant, and above all.. oh wait, I'm in front of class already.

No, my heart beat doesn't race at being late. My teacher isn't a ferocious beast that'd breathe out fire if someone doesn't do the homework and not as laid back as you might imagine. Smart and a bit clumsy, I guess he's a well-made teacher.

I knock the sturdy door firmly. The teacher turns his head to the window in the door and looks at me. He motions me to get in. Opening the door, I ask,"May I enter sir?" He nods to me and points to my seat with his hand.

I reach for the empty seat near the window that I have been assigned to throughout the year. I sit down quietly and the teacher continues teaching. "Serious business eh?" I mumble to myself, being so influenced by lurking 'teh intarwebs'.

I look beside me and find an empty seat. I wonder why they haven't moved that seat. There's no one there, why bother keeping it there? It's been months since its first day of vacancy and I believe there's still more days to come.

The lesson continues normally, with the subject at hand being physics, the subject I have most difficulty with (I suck big time at Maths, no explanation needed, every normal person does). I glance to my right sometime to look at the empty seat and reminiscence of the person assigned to the seat.

------------

It was in my post, go look at it, POST #47

Even though I don't read too addictively much, I get my influences on my style from the few authors I've mentioned. 1st person stuff, my main inspirations come from Fate Stay Night and JPod. Humour inspirations come from JPod, the Va Dinci Cod, satirist stuff and fratire stuff or I just get them from the back of my head. Suspense and thrilling stuff I get from Cell and The Book Of Fate (especially Book Of Fate). Descriptive writings are from myself and my friend (who's a good descriptive writer, far better than me when we're both 'in-form')

[Ceridwyn]

Fate Stay Night? Coooll hahah i watched the anime. I'm an anime ******.. i must have watched over 500 gigs, started watching since 1996. And no its not 3 hours! Its impossible to read harry potter in 3 hours, its 9 am to 12 am, thats 15 hours. I only stop to eat LOL. Haven't had time to read all the stuff you guys submitted, dota's calling, i'll comment in the weekends when i have time =). Then again..its valentine...

[reb3llist]

Lol, Ceridwyn, Fate Stay Night (the game) is better than the anime IMO. It made a guy (a man) cry at Fate's ending. In the end though they say that the Unlimited Blade Works storyline is the best. Go look at FSN in Wikipedia. I love Wikipedia for that huge information streaming stuff.

Actually, on most books, I get bored in an hour or two and take a break. Btw I read 12 pages of the Da Vinci Code and it looks kinda promising. So it's a dilema, How To Kill A Mockingbird or the Da Vinci Code...

[Ceridwyn]

i wanted the gameee where do you get it? Last i heard it was japanese-only... . Da VInci~*!!!! lol.

[reb3llist]

The Japanese only version can be patched into the English version. Visit mirror-moon and you'll get it. Just google Mirror-moon for their website. They also do translations for other Type-Moon graphic novels like Tsukihime. So far I only have FSN and am thoroughly enjoying the Unlimited Blade Works storyline. Been a long time since I read FSN actually. Rich in plot, I have to say.

[reb3llist]

Spoiler untuk End of Chapter 1 (flashback) :

---------------

"Hey Claire!" The young man called out
"Yeah?" The girl turns to her left following the voice
"Do you understand that one?"
"Uh kinda.."
"Umm, help me please?" begged the man.
"Well maybe later when we get home."

She was, to his eyes, a cheerful person that has a lively personality. To him, she could've been the epitome of friendliness but not everyone would agree in

unison. There wouldn't be hesitations on that fact at all. He acknowledges what kind of girl she is. To him, Claire was energetic and enthusiastic when you get to know her but shy when it comes to meeting for the first time.

He always thought how smart the girl was and always admired her intellect. She was decent in the frustratingly menacing subjects like Maths and Biology whereas the young man struggled in said subjects. He has always asked the young girl to help him in his studies.

Then the bell rang. The teacher announced to the students,"The bell has rung, you may now go home." And most students quickly packed their bags.

"Hey Jules, let's go see the Chess club!" The energetic girl called Claire says.
"Uhh, maybe later."
"Awhh, come on Jules, don't be shy!"
"I know why you're dragging me there, cause you want me to get back to the Chess club right?"

The girl nodded cheerfully.

"Well I'm not going." The boy said.
"Hey Jude... Don't be afraid," The girl sung playfully, referencing The Beatles' famous song.
"Alright stop that one." The boy, with a slight sense of playfulness as well, told her.
"Ohh, come on Julian, Chess isn't so boring.." The girl thought for a while,"Sort of.."
"Never mind, I won't be going. That's my decision, no matter how much the team needs me, I've already decided I'm out."

The girl sighed at him.

The boy called Jules was a surprisingly great Chess player of his school and dumbfounded the supervisors when he first entered. He didn't have that much of a high grade at school but he was so good in chess. It puzzled the mind. Claire on the other hand, didn't have that special flair in chess. Julian, mostly

called as Jules or Jude, was only a teenager at that time. He found the girl in an unexpected place on the streets in front of the rows of shops at a district. As surprising as it was, it was fate that brought them together.

"Alright then let's just go home, we have lots of homework today, especially Biology!" Claire said with a sparkle of enthusiasm on the homeworks.
"Oh God, not Biology again." The boy retorted with shock, which was directionally proportional to the amount or load of homework handed to him.

The day continued normally and they walked home peacefully.

------------------

Comments please, desperately need constructive criticism

[reb3llist]

Just finished chptr 2 lulz

[SenichiSaga]

wow...

chapter 2...
that was quick...

[AzerArcacia]

"Do you understand that one?"

DId he refer the last subject? Or Did he refer something else?You said it was a flashback.

Spoiler untuk End of Chapter 1 (flashback)

So...I thought it was either math/biology. (Or maybe I'm really a dull reader indeed ==a since I don't know what he is referring to.)

sorry(no offense) I'm kinda confused with the timeline here. Basically, it's Past==>Flashback==>Prologue==>Present time, right?

I tried to combine the three part (or maybe four?) of chapter 1 (and re-read it more carefully.) And then, I suddenly remember the first time you posted it.(@post #32) Then, I matched it. Still...I couldn't tell the timeline yet.

He found the girl in an unexpected place on the streets in front of the rows of shops at a district. As surprising as it was, it was fate that brought them together.

Ahem! So...what is Claire to Jude? '(and vice-versa). I'd like to know more about them.

and here's another little question, How old are they right now? Well...judging from the subjects they have...They aren't college students, are they?

I only know this...

That was 2 years ago, when I first met her in a day of pouring rain and an air of sorrow. I remember it so clearly to this day. Sometimes I could dream these sort of dreams. I wonder why.

and now...

the good part.

She was, to his eyes, a cheerful person that has a lively personality. To him, she could've been the epitome of friendliness but not everyone would agree in

unison. There wouldn't be hesitations on that fact at all. He acknowledges what kind of girl she is. To him, Claire was energetic and enthusiastic when you get to know her but shy when it comes to meeting for the first time.

He always thought how smart the girl was and always admired her intellect. She was decent in the frustratingly menacing subjects like Maths and Biology whereas the young man struggled in said subjects. He has always asked the young girl to help him in his studies.

HOL*****! That's a quick description, yet very effective! Even though you didn't describe her appearance, I can tell what kind of girl she is.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

by the way...

Yuuki to Yuki has been updated (meh...==a I'm such a slow person when it comes to writing.)

http://www.indogamers.com/f399/yuuki...1/#post2204334

==a arrgh! I think I screwed up big this time.

[reb3llist]

Did he refer the last subject? Or Did he refer something else?You said it was a flashback.

No, I directly put you in some unexplained situation in his flashback to keep you guessing and stuff. So it's not a huge wonder that some people would be confused.

[quoteSo...I thought it was either math/biology. (Or maybe I'm really a dull reader indeed ==a since I don't know what he is referring to.)[/quote]

Whaddya mean? That first question you asked? Well that was him, in the past around a year ago asking Claire how to do this math or science problem.

sorry(no offense) I'm kinda confused with the timeline here. Basically, it's Past==>Flashback==>Prologue==>Present time, right?

When, in the story, there is a line like:

-----------------

It indicates that this part breaks up. See, when I get to the flashbacks, there are the -------- signs. Also, notice how the tenses change. In flashbacks, it's mostly past and in the time now, it's mostly present tense. So basically..

Prologue - 2 years ago
Chapter 1 - Now (last few paragraphs are flashbacks)
Chapter 2 - Now (with a flashback in the middle) [PM me if you want this one]

Flashbacks are between 3 - 5 months to 2 years ago since later I'll tell you that she left for around 3 - 5 months (haven't decided) or so. I also told SenichiSaga what I plan to do exactly

Ahem! So...what is Claire to Jude? '(and vice-versa). I'd like to know more about them.

Actually, Jules is yet to discover that he likes Claire a lot and thinks of her only as a really close friend. To Jules, Claire is a really really close friend but to Claire... well you'll see.

and here's another little question, How old are they right now? Well...judging from the subjects they have...They aren't college students, are they?

I dunno, they're definitely not college students. I don't know how old they are. 17 maybe? Or 16? I dunno. Decide for me please

and now...

the good part.

HOL*****! That's a quick description, yet very effective! Even though you didn't describe her appearance, I can tell what kind of girl she is.

Ahahah thanks, I just described her personality. I already briefly described her appearance in the boring prologue. She has hazel eyes, brown hair, fair complexion, smooth skin and slim. I think that's about it. Maybe I'll add or modify some details here and there

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

by the way...

Yuuki to Yuki has been updated (meh...==a I'm such a slow person when it comes to writing.)

http://www.indogamers.com/f399/yuuki...1/#post2204334

==a arrgh! I think I screwed up big this time.

I'm a slow one too, unless I get inspiration.

I think your style changed a bit. Between conversations here and there you would provide longer paragraphs (although you did some longer paragraphs on somewhere around.. Uhh chapter 2 or 3 (part 2) or something, yeah, in between conversations there was little stuff. I guess it's good not to be too long-winded but maybe that's just my preference.. Owh and chapter 1 and 2 had good enough narrative stuff. I hope your style evolves well. If you want I can even correct the wrong grammars you have in your story (the ones published or not yet published) if you want to improve your grammar. I don't wanna get in your way or anything

[reb3llist]

Oh and I forgot to say, thanks for the update!

[AzerArcacia]

I think your style changed a bit.

He? I couldn't tell the difference.

If you want I can even correct the wrong grammars you have in your story (the ones published or not yet published) if you want to improve your grammar.

Well, if you don't mind correcting them

[reb3llist]

Maybe it was just my feeling but I feel a bit better reading it. I'll let you know on your next few chapters. One question, are you writing spontaneously or with a plan or both? Cause I think I'm the only one who spontaneously writes and while spontaneously writing, can think of plans spontaneously while writing.

[AzerArcacia]

Maybe it was just my feeling but I feel a bit better reading it. I'll let you know on your next few chapters. One question, are you writing spontaneously or with a plan or both? Cause I think I'm the only one who spontaneously writes and while spontaneously writing, can think of plans spontaneously while writing.

Plan...eh?

Hm...Personally, I'm a person who has a bunch of plan in the beginning before I start writing a story. That's because each day, I usually force myself ( yes! force myself) to think of something for the plot and the others. But sometimes...I write spontaneously .

off to read your 2nd chapter. I'll give the feedback later