[CerPen]Regretfull

[freezing_heartz]

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Waktu gw SMP gw punya temen cewe...
namanya sebut aja Ice...
gw itu sama dia deket banget...

klo mo pergi ke mana" bareng...
makan siang klo di rumah sering bareng...
malah kdang" gw numpang makan di rumah dia...
ke WC juga pengen bareng si benernya...
klo jalan ke mana aja harus bareng d pokokna...

jujur si saat itu gw suka sama dia...
cuma gw pikir gw itu sahabatan aja sama dia...
ya udahlah gw urungkan niat gw untuk nyatain prasaan gw ke dia...

temen" gw juga sering banget ngejudge gw pacaran sama dia...
ya gw cuma bisa jawab "gw gk pacaran sama dia,gw sahabatan..."
padahal dalem ati pengen banget ngomong,"Gw pengen jadian sama dia...Tapi...."
yasudahlah biar mereka menilai aja...
bagi gw yg penting gw bisa slalu deket sama dia....

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sampe suatu ketika dia bilang dia harus ninggalin JKT n kuliah di luar IND...
damn...
ancur ati gw langsung...
gw gk mau dia pergi...
tapi mau gimana??
gw harus relain dia mau gk mau...
rela gk rela d...

alhasil...
gw cuma bisa nganterin dia pergi ke bandara...

setelah gw ngeliat dia pergi gw ngrasa kek ada yg ilang...
hari" yg slama ini slalu diisi sama dia sekarang menjadi kosong...
N kerjaan gw cuma bisa bengong aja tiap hari...
I'm So FuckEd Up...
itu yg gw rasa....

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oh well yeah...
Goodbye


I lost you
You go
I cried
I'm blamed coz i can't say what i feel
This I do regret
One day I'll set the story straight
When I tell u how i feel of everytime
I couldn't tell u
Even if I tried
I still find myself thinking u'r mine.
Writing it on my heart
I know I will never forget
Your smile
Or lips
How safe your hug
You could have been a great friend
I hope you're finaly happy
I'll miss you forever
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yeah...
fucked up...

udahlah..
idup gw mesti jalan terus kan??
mulailah gw menyibukan diri pas SMA...
menyibukan diri dengan apa??
DOTA tentunya...

yah pokoknya perlahan" gw mule bisa lupain dia...
tapi tetep...
pas gw pacaran sama beberapa org,entah kenapa bayangan dia slalu ada??
gw slalu mrasa gk tenang...

dan akhirnya gw tau...
cuma dia org yg bener" gw sayang...
cuma dia yg bisa bikin gw bahagia...
tapi gw begitu bodoh...
gk ngasih tau prasaan gw...

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sampe akhirnya...
1 tahun yg lalu...
di sbuah pesta pernikahan entah siapa,,gw ketemu dia....

"Chen!!!" ada suara yg manggil gw...n panggilan "chen" cuma org" terdekat gw doank yg tau..Tapi suaranya familiar banger...Gw mencoba cari ke sumber suara...

"Chen,,hei!!!Right here...!!!" OMG,,,itu dia "Ice"...Sahabat terbaik gw....Seseorg yg paling gw sayang...

"4get me already huh??" dia menghampiri gw dan bertanya...
"No,my little star...I'll never 4get u...Tambah cantik aja nie..."
dia mencubit gw gemes lalu ngomong "Ah,,lo bisa aja...Kok sendiri???Mana pacar??"
"Pacar??I'm still single rite now...waiting 4 u little star..."gw jawab sekenanya...
dia cuma tertawa dan tetep nyubit gw...
pas dia nyubit pengen rasanya gelas penuh isi cola gw timpuk ke muka dia...
gw urungkan niat gw...
karna gw tw gw sayang dia...

gw tanya lagi "Mana pacar lo ice??kok gk dijinjing??"
"Dia di luar kota..."dia menjawab gk smangat...

Trus kita ber2 ngobrol" ngalor ngidul sampe itu pesta slese...
n kita jga sempet tuker"an no hape...

yah...
pertemuan singkat yg bikin gw seneng sepanjang hari...
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2hari setelah itu...
gw lagi ada kelas di kampus...
kelas yg ngebosenin...
dosennya bawel lagi...
gw ngelongok ke luar...
gw ada di lantai 9...
gw mikir,klo ni dosen gw karungin trus gw tendang ke luar jendela seru juga x ya??

tiba" HP gw geter...
gw liat sms dari Ice...Langsung semangat gw...
wah dia ajak gw maen ke rumahnya...
Jadi inget pas dlo...
maen dokter"an...
hmmm...klo maen dokter"an skarang seru juga x ya??
gw bales sms tsb...
gw bilang "Ok gw dateng nanti stelah kelas slse jam 12-an"...

Stelah kls slese gw langsung jln ke rumahnya...
rumahnya itu di Jkt Timur juga...
skitar 30mnitan dari rumah gw lah...

Pas gw sampe,,ada bokap n nyokapnya...
udah brp menit nyapa n basa-basi akhirnya Ice turun dari kamarnya...
Dan sperti biasa juga,,,dia langsung ajak gw ke kamarnya...
nyokap bokapnya si maklum...
Sahabat dari kecil gitu...
gw juga dah knal lama sama dia org...

Dan brp lama gitu gw abisin waktu ngobrol...
makan bareng...
jalan bareng ke mall deket rumahnya...

mall??
hah,gw rasa itu sarang ALAY bukan mall...
pengen gw *** rasanya...
Oh well **** may happen right?

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jem nunjukin angka 5,gw pamit pulang...
Pas gw mo make spatu,Ice ngomong...
brikut dialog gw sama Ice
I : Iwe
IC : Ice


IC : "Chen,can I ask u something??"
I : Ask what lil star??
IC : Do u have a different feeling to me??
I : What kind of feeling??I don't understand my sweet lil star...
IC : Please don't make it harder...I know u know what i mean??

(gw diem beberapa lama....Damn,haruskah gw jujur sama dia??Dia udah punya pacar yg dia sayang katanya...Emank dia ngomong klo sama gw dia lebih bisa santai...bisa omongin macem" hal...bisa ngakak sampe mau mati...dan lain"...Sedangkan cowonya itu srius banget.....Apa gw harus jujur???dan yah,,gw harus jujur...gw tw kita sama" dewasa..dan mungkin ini sekedar intermezzo buat dia..)

I : Have i fallen with U??Is that what u wanna ask?? N my answer is YES...I love U lil star...in fact I've fallen in love with u from the start..."

(saat itu gw dah gk kuat...gw tau gw harus ungkapin prasaan gw entah gimana caranya...tapi kok dia diem??apa gw salah??)

IC : Lo jahat chen...lo jahat....(dia tiba" meluk gw dari blakang)
I : I'm sory lil star...I'm sory...
IC : Do u know??Me to...I always love U...gw gk pernah lupain lo...gw mendam cinta gw sama lo...gw berharap sbelum gw pergi lo mau ungkapin prasaan lo...tapi apa??Lo cuma kasi gw mimpi,chen...

(gw cuma bisa diem...
gw bengong...
Damn God...
i've found someone who understand me best,n i just let her slip away??
rasa sesak langsung menuhin dada gw waktu itu...)

IC : beberapa bulan lalu seorg cowo nyatain prasaannya ke gw chen...gw trima dia...msekipun rasa sayang gw ke dia gw sebesar rasa sayang ke lo...Tapi dia gk kasi gw mimpi kek yg lo kasi ke gw...gw hidup di dunia nyata...dan gw ingin cinta yg nyata...dan sebenernya yg gw ingin, cinta lo...

I : Sssshhhh Lil star (gw taro tlunjuk ge ke bibirnya)...gw tw gw gk bisa kasi kenyataan ke lo...gw juga cinta sama lo...cuma skarang lo dah punya seseorg utk berbagi...seseorg yg lebih real...dibanding gw yg cuma mimpi...cintailah dia apa adanya,lil star...gw gk akan ganggu kebahagiaan lo...apalgi gw gk mau mrusak persahabatan kita...

(can't u think straight wan??lo bisa bahagia sama dia...tapi lo ngasih dia ke org yg bahkan lo gk tw bisa bahagiain dia apa gk...LO ***** WE...IWE *****..)

(oh ****...well,gw emank *****...tapi bodo amat...gw gk mau bikin dia sedih lagi...udah cukup...ada seseorang yg pasti bisa ngebahagiain dia lebih dari gw...)

IC : I know it chen...I know it...Lo emank sahabat yg bisa ngerti gimana gw...Dan gw juga skarang dah tau...tau gimana prasaan lo yg sesungguhnya ke gw...Thx chen...

I : i'll do evrything 2 make u happy lil star...u can depend on me as always...N this day,,it's time 4 us to move on rite??At this moment,i just can say LET'S DO OUR BEST STARTING 2DAY...

(LET'S DO OUR BEST??? kata" yg seakan" gk pengen gw ucapin...ini si sama aja let do ur best...not our...karna gw gk bisa mencintai seseorg dengan sepenuh hati kek gw cinta sama Ice...)

life goes on...

trakhir,gw cium kening dia lalu gw pulang...
sampe saat ini gw masi berhubungan sama dia juga...
cuma,crita lalu gw,gw pendam dalam"...
gw mau dia bahagia...
Tapi sampe saat ini,gw masih bener" sayang sama dia...
Well,,cewe itu gk cukup cuma dikasi mimpi...
akhirnya gw blajar itu.

Time and time again
I've lost you.
You didn't really slip,
I know,
You let go.

The rapid current
Could have taken you,
Pulled your body away
From the shore
And I could have lost sight
Of you
From where I stood.

Can't hide anything from me
Anymore,
I see the clouds spread across
Your face.
Wish you'd say,
'Stay with me',
Though you know you don't
Need to say a thing,
I promised I'd be
Your sun
Till your heart stops beating,
Beating.
Why did you have to decide
So quickly?

So it's good-bye again, it's good-bye again...

Our lives are now interlaced,
Don't want to let it
Tear apart.
I'm counting on
Those heartbeats still.
Just keep breathing
A little while longer,
Somehow I'm the one pleading.

It's good-bye again, it's good-bye, honey.

I'll pump
As much of life inside you
As I can
Because
I want you
To go on.
It's good-bye again,
Honey,
I said it's good-bye
Again.
So explain to me then
Why at the end
Of the day
I keep coming back.
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REGRETFUL....

I CAN ONLY REGRET NOW...
IF I HAD A LITTLE COURAGE BACK THEN,THINGS WOULD BE DIFFERENT RIGHT??

NO!!!
THIS HAPPEN COZ I DON'T HAVE ANY COURAGE...

EVERY MOMENTS THAT I HAVE SPENT WITH U NOW TURNING TO DUST...
I JUST CAN LET THOSE SLIP AWAY LITTLE BY LITTLE FROM MY MIND...

THE FEELINGS I CAN'T EXPRESS BACK THEN,I'M LEAVING HERE...

IT'S ALSO A TIME FOR ME TO MOVE ON RIGHT??

OUR TIME IS SLOWLY SLIPPING AWAY...
BUT,
SOMETIMES ON THOSE BUSY DAYS WHEN U HAVE A THOUSAND THINGS TO DO,
PLEASE LET ME GLIDE SLOWLY TO YOUR MIND N SPEND SOME TIME WITH U...
IN THAT QUIET MOMENT WHEN U'R SURPRISED TO FIND ME THERE,
PLEASE REMEMBER EVEN WITH THE DISTANCE BETWEEN US,
I'M STILL SOMEONE WHO CARES N LOVES U...


created By : Hot_Chocolatez

[the_omicron]

wih amazing ceritanya sperti 5cm/s