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  1. #91
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    "You gotta be you, only one in the world" - Hideki Kamiya
    -Magnified Universe-
    Quote Originally Posted by LunarCrusade View Post
    senjata gw emang ciuman maut ala sinar rembulan gitu sih

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  3. #92
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    "You gotta be you, only one in the world" - Hideki Kamiya
    -Magnified Universe-
    Quote Originally Posted by LunarCrusade View Post
    senjata gw emang ciuman maut ala sinar rembulan gitu sih

  4. #93
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    "You gotta be you, only one in the world" - Hideki Kamiya
    -Magnified Universe-
    Quote Originally Posted by LunarCrusade View Post
    senjata gw emang ciuman maut ala sinar rembulan gitu sih

  5. #94
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    "You gotta be you, only one in the world" - Hideki Kamiya
    -Magnified Universe-
    Quote Originally Posted by LunarCrusade View Post
    senjata gw emang ciuman maut ala sinar rembulan gitu sih

  6. #95
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    "You gotta be you, only one in the world" - Hideki Kamiya
    -Magnified Universe-
    Quote Originally Posted by LunarCrusade View Post
    senjata gw emang ciuman maut ala sinar rembulan gitu sih

  7. #96
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    Default Entitled : Aftertaste of a war

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    "You gotta be you, only one in the world" - Hideki Kamiya
    -Magnified Universe-
    Quote Originally Posted by LunarCrusade View Post
    senjata gw emang ciuman maut ala sinar rembulan gitu sih

  8. #97
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    Default The Sign [Your first journey ends here - starts with a new one, or you can repeat it again]

    Sayangnya gw baru sadar tahun2 kehidupan gw sebelum ini cuma diisi dengan

    "Repeating History"

    The first part is about me being an uber-***** who keeps his own history repeating
    nothing changes much, as his promises were broken - this day is when he realises
    that he is failed, failed so hard as a man

    The second part is about whether he will be able to change his history
    or just keep repeating - again and again
    and there will be no prize waiting for a loser, its a truth


    Good news is : the time to take the second part is near
    Bad news is : i am still a douchebag

    this entry will end soon
    ..but it wont end until i won this game

    "You gotta be you, only one in the world" - Hideki Kamiya
    -Magnified Universe-
    Quote Originally Posted by LunarCrusade View Post
    senjata gw emang ciuman maut ala sinar rembulan gitu sih

  9. #98
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    Last entry reached

    lol.

    "You gotta be you, only one in the world" - Hideki Kamiya
    -Magnified Universe-
    Quote Originally Posted by LunarCrusade View Post
    senjata gw emang ciuman maut ala sinar rembulan gitu sih

  10. #99
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    8 Bulan? cukup lama setelah gw ninggalin god forsaken diary ini.

    Jadi where do we start?
    Oke dari inti diary ini, "untuk meninggalkan diri gw yang lama" "kebebasan" dan ******** lainnya

    Gw pikir setelah meninggalkan sekolah ini, dengan kata lain, kelulusan, hal yang selalu gw idam2kan sejak gw SMP, apa yang selalu gw inginkan, untuk meninggalkan segala ******** dan faggots yang ada di sana

    In other words, gw cuma pengen kill my old self and move on to the new one
    Gw pikir itu sudah terjadi sejak gw meninggalkan tempat ******** itu, yaitu liburan ini, it is NOT.

    Gw belom berubah, cuma terbebas dari tempat itu, not free from the curse that place gave me


    So what do I expect?
    Ini bukan sekedar liburan, ini justru jadi battlefield yang jauh lebih sulit -- sekolah itu ********, gw ga belajar apapun dari sana, gw bahkan baru benar2 belajar di saat ini, di saat di mana gw punya WAKTU untuk diri gw sendiri

    Apa yang gw inginkan?
    Full control, gw cuma pengen ngontrol diri gw secara fully. "emang kita udah kok" nope -- berapa banyak kegiatan yang gw pengen lakukan tapi ga jadi gara2 pengen nyante?

    bagaimana dengan impian, mimpi yang seharusnya gw incar sejak dulu tapi ga kesampean karena diri gw sendiri yang menolak? secara kasar, gw seharusnya belajar, tapi malah maen. it happens


    Bukan sekedar kontrol belajar, emosi gw labil. masih labil. tapi gw ga tahu hal ini tiba2 terjadi right after my birthday, 2 hari lalu

    2 hari lalu ada apa? gw memutuskan hubungan gw sama certain ****, gw yang menyiapkan sendiri plannya, gw yang mengontrol, gw yang ingin keluar dari hubungan gila itu
    Right, its done. sesuai plan gw


    yang gw ga sangka, ternyata ada pergolakan emosi, gw bahkan ga sadar, i dont even feel it, tapi melihat lagi tindakan gw 2 hari ini, yes, ternyata emang, **** happens.


    Siapa yang salah? gw? dia? or that ****? gw.


    Gimana kalo ini terjadi di RL lagi? repeating history, gw kehilangan 1, lanjutnya gw kehilangan lagi
    This is a strong reminder, i am not in control. gw sekarang masih sama seperti gw yang dulu


    Details? nope, gw tahu itu masalah gw dan gw ga akan ungkit2 lagi karena emang udah impossible to reach.

    ....
    Gw mungkin terlahir dalam kondisi autis
    Gw hidup di sekolah di mana 600 lebih pelajar di sana mungkin ingin gw mati
    gw hidup menanggung beban dan dosa bahkan gw ga tau dari mana asalnya dan kenapa gw yang kena
    gw memikul nasib dimana gw punya orang yang dicintai, lalu hilang diambil oleh penyakit, disusul oleh hilangnya teman terbaik
    gw tahu bagaimana beratnya hidup
    Mungkin setiap sel dari tubuh gw sendiri - otak - hati gw udah ga tahan
    Guess what, gw masih ada di sini
    I'll live on, and make things better, that easy.
    Mungkin nanti setelah gw jadi orang yang bener, gw akan liat lagi diary ini
    and I will be laughing my arse off. knowing im such an autistic ***** back then


    What i know, what i want, is to kill my old fucking self.

    This future, my future is not going to be wasted again.

    "You gotta be you, only one in the world" - Hideki Kamiya
    -Magnified Universe-
    Quote Originally Posted by LunarCrusade View Post
    senjata gw emang ciuman maut ala sinar rembulan gitu sih

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