Let's write..!!!

[golden-boy]

do you like writing? If ya, I'll give you topic.

Online Game,what is your opinion about it?
-advantages and disadvantages.
-conclusion.



Note:
do you think it is a good thread? I hope it can improve our writing skill.

[NdRuw]

advantages: we can get many fun from online game beside we busy in dailyy life ^^

disadvantages: If we have to play more and more, we will want to play more and more again and it will effect for u to not concentrate at your job

[doktergadungan]

It's been ages since I last visited English Corner...

Gonna start by a writing test...lol...

Before I start, since it's supposed to be learning thread, I gonna point out some mistakes Ndruw made...We all learn from mistakes...no mistake no learning...^^

1. Fun is uncountable noun, hence you should had used "...much fun.." instead of "many"

2. When "Beside" is used to open a new statement related to the statement before, it becomes "Besides"(notice the extra "S").."Beside" without "s" is used to point out a location.

3. There should be a "to be" between a subject and object...yours is lacking one...it's supposed to be "We ARE busy.."

4. "Have to" means something that are a MUST...or else there would be consequences..It would be better if you just take them off the sentence...so it sounds "If we play more and more.."

5. usage of "again" is different from it is in INdonesian...If you want to stress something or make an impression of "deeper,stronger,harder,etc", you should use "even"...So it sounds "We will want to play more and even more,..."

6. "Effect" when used for verb is "affect"(I guess this is just a vocab extra for you...^^)

7. I don't know how to put it, maybe someone can help me explain this one...the last 6 words...It's supposed to be "to not concentrating on your job"...But I couldn't explain why it's so...




Ok...Next is mine, I look forward for your correction of mine...^^



-Advantage of OL Gaming : OL gaming enables you to interact with other people, which is usually the flaw of electronic games these days. It means more friends, and more fun.

-Disadvantage : OL gamings are sometimes related to prestige...someone not having a good play skill are often being "boo-ed", humiliated in someway,etc...In MMORPG,someone who build their char "wrongly" is usually bullied, and in games like DotA, learning people are often called "ATM", etc and being said cruel things which might cause them to stop playing.
Moreover, OL gaming may cause disorders, including ADDICTION, EMOTIONAL UNSTABILITY, and sometimes..DEATH...(yes believe it or not, someone actually died because of a game)

Conclusion : OL Games are good to relief stress, it allows someone to leave their real life for a while to soothe the mind.However,playing OL games too much would only cause the opposite, Stress and health problems.



OK, I think I made my post long enough..
Hope it's not boring...^^a

[golden-boy]

@Ndruw
Thanks bro for your posting. I totally agree with you. it is happened to me. ^^

@doktergadungan
Great.
since i have never used English for long time, i think my English is getting worst.
I like your posting. I got much info from it and hope i can learn and even learn to improve my English.

Wanna ask you 1 sentence

-Disadvantage : OL gamings are sometimes related to prestige...someone not having a good play skill are often being........

Please check highlight's words.
why don't you use "Someone doesn't have a good play skill
please teach me...^^

Thank you.

[heroine]

nice thread
I need to improve my writing skills too and still need correction

1. The advantages of online gaming

By playing an online games you can meet and make an interaction with other players from all around the world (at the large scale) I've tried some of the International online games like Albatross18,AuditionSea etc,sometimes I meet an Indonesian players there,usually we're playing together and becomes friends

2. Disadvantages

Well, it will cost a lot of your times ,some games need to be played recently, but I think it's okay if you well manage your time so you're not ruins your real life

3. Conclusion

Keep that two things balance between your real life and online gaming

[skyblade]

Nowadays,online gaming is bombing. It was started from Nexia for the 1st online gaming in Indonesia.after the successful of it, many giant gaming companies competed to get the license of the new ol game for indo player, that is why we can play many kinds of ol gaming now.since ol games were in indonesia, there are lots of pro and contra..

I totally agree that online has more disadvantages. Firstly, we talk about student. we can see how big the effect of Ol gaming for students. some students don't go to school just for Ol gaming. They have forgetten how important the study is, how difficult their parent work for their education.

secondly, this is worker case. As we know, when we are working, the most important thing that we have to do is concentrate. But, when they have effected by ol gaming exactly they can't concentrate with their work because they just think such as; how to do faster leveling, how to upgrade the weapon, etc.

on the other hand,some people say that online gaming is very useful. They can be relax when they are playing ol games because they can forget all of their stressful.

to conclude, online games is just a game, we have to think what is the benefit if you spend much of your time just in front of computer.

[hero4dohl]

@ doktergadungan

7. I don't know how to put it, maybe someone can help me explain this one...the last 6 words...It's supposed to be "to not concentrating on your job"...But I couldn't explain why it's so...


i think it should be "not to concentrate on your job"...

um.. let's begin..

advantages: get a lot of knowledge, meet a lot of people from other places (in computer ) , get to know something new, know vocabularies used in online gaming., relaxing..

disadvantages : addiction, waste money and time in case you have become very addicted, n you may suffer some ilnesses such as: headache , uncontrolled emotion especially when playing dota

Conclusion: it is quite balance between the advantages and the disadvantages, coz we get something good and bad sometimes.

[SeiLi]

Online Gaming..huh?
Actually every single move, even the smallest thing we do... it has its own Advantages and Disadvantage...
For the Conclusion, it s depend on some one, maybe it s like differentionality of mind...
it s different each other because every single person is different each other, from his background, economic status, jobs, etc.

[lexmaniax]

online games?
emm... I'm not really like it at all... I'm sure I've been bored because of online games, again and again, I'm so confused, why all of my friends really like it...
after you can't be the best, you will always try to be the best, after you've failed to be the best, those games will be so boring! trust me...

but it has some advantage, you'll get something new, new friend, new community, new fun, and many more
disadvantage, those games always addictive, it's really bad for everything

i don't have any conclusion yet..

@golden-boy
isn't your avatar one of D.N. Angel Character?

[keoz]

online games?
emm... I'm not really like it at all... I'm sure I've been bored because of online games, again and again, I'm so confused, why all of my friends really like it...
after you can't be the best, you will always try to be the best, after you've failed to be the best, those games will be so boring! trust me...

but it has some advantage, you'll get something new, new friend, new community, new fun, and many more
disadvantage, those games always addictive, it's really bad for everything

i don't have any conclusion yet..

haha...u have the same opinion as me... i'm bored of online game nowadays... i can spend my time with singleplayer game that can played online, such as COD 4, battlefield 2

[SeiLi]

@ keoz and lexmaniax

haha ********
i know you still playing DOTA...
DOTA is online game also

[lexmaniax]

@ keoz and lexmaniax

haha ********
i know you still playing DOTA...
DOTA is online game also

not at all...
i usually play dota with ai
it's not online, and i prefer LAN than play online in battle net

[KingB00ker]

Nowadays,online gaming is bombing. It was started from Nexia for the 1st online gaming in Indonesia.after the successful of it, many giant gaming companies competed to get the license of the new ol game for indo player, that is why we can play many kinds of ol gaming now.since ol games were in indonesia, there are lots of pro and contra..

I totally agree that online has more disadvantages. Firstly, we talk about student. we can see how big the effect of Ol gaming for students. some students don't go to school just for Ol gaming. They have forgetten how important the study is, how difficult their parent work for their education.

secondly, this is worker case. As we know, when we are working, the most important thing that we have to do is concentrate. But, when they have effected by ol gaming exactly they can't concentrate with their work because they just think such as; how to do faster leveling, how to upgrade the weapon, etc.

on the other hand,some people say that online gaming is very useful. They can be relax when they are playing ol games because they can forget all of their stressful.

to conclude, online games is just a game, we have to think what is the benefit if you spend much of your time just in front of computer.

This is a good example.

In tests such as Singapore Scholarship, they demand you to write in this type.

Although this one lacks punctuation, has many grammatical errors, and wrong structure.

Tips :
- The words : isn't, aren't, wasn't, etc; may not be used, hence use : is not, are not, was not, etc. (It's like difference between saya and gw in Indonesian)
- The best structure of writing :
> Introduction : Give description about the topic and tell whether you agree or disagree.
> Contains : The most important part, I think all of you have known what to be written here. However, you must write systematically for example :
* 1st Advantage
* 2nd Advantage
* ..... Advantage
* 1st Disadvantage
* 2nd Disadvantage
* ..... Disadvantage

or

* 1st Advantage
* 1st Disadvantage
* 2nd Advantage
* 2nd Advantage
* .... Advantage
* .... Disadvantage

Don't write 2 ideas in one paragraph (such as advantage and disadvantage, unless you have linked them in special way (comparison in one aspect like : economy, education, etc)).

So if you may write in this order too, if the condition above is fulfilled.

*1st Advantage and Disadvantage
*2nd Advantage and Disadvantage
*.... Advantage and Disadvantage

>Conclusion :
Conclusion's usage is to conclude or summarize your contains.
You may not write a new idea here !
Idea is just to be written in contains and introduction !


I hope my tips are useful.

[KingB00ker]

Nowadays,online gaming is bombing. It was started from Nexia for the 1st online gaming in Indonesia.after the successful of it, many giant gaming companies competed to get the license of the new ol game for indo player, that is why we can play many kinds of ol gaming now.since ol games were in indonesia, there are lots of pro and contra..

I totally agree that online has more disadvantages. Firstly, we talk about student. we can see how big the effect of Ol gaming for students. some students don't go to school just for Ol gaming. They have forgetten how important the study is, how difficult their parent work for their education.

secondly, this is worker case. As we know, when we are working, the most important thing that we have to do is concentrate. But, when they have effected by ol gaming exactly they can't concentrate with their work because they just think such as; how to do faster leveling, how to upgrade the weapon, etc.

on the other hand,some people say that online gaming is very useful. They can be relax when they are playing ol games because they can forget all of their stressful.

to conclude, online games is just a game, we have to think what is the benefit if you spend much of your time just in front of computer.

Okay, now I will check your grammatical errors :
- Bomb as a verb means to explode something by using bomb, so you must use another word (booming).
- Use "it started" instead of "it was started", since it's and active sentence.
- Successful is an adjective, use Success(N) instead.
- Not Ol-gaming but Online Games (paragraph 1 line 3)
- Paragraph 2 line 1, it must be Online Games not just Online.
- "How important study is" must be "How important studying is"
- Not "their parent work" but : "their parent works" or "their parents work"
However, I think it will be more suitable if we use : "their parents' effort"
- "worker case" ====> "working case"
- "the most important thing that we have to do is concentrate" must be "the most important thing that we have to do is concentrating"
- "when they have effected by ol gaming" must be "when they have been effected by ol gaming"
- The word exactly must be removed since it's a redundance.
- "they just think such as" must be "they just think things such as"
- "how to upgrade the weapon" must be "how to upgrade weapon" or "how to upgrade their weapons".
- "They can be relax" must be "They can relax" or "They can be relaxed".
- Stressful is and adjective, use stress instead.

Thank you.

[keoz]

Online Gaming..huh?
Actually every single move, even the smallest thing we do... it has its own Advantages and Disadvantage...
For the Conclusion, it s depend on some one, maybe it s like differentionality of mind...
it s different each other because every single person is different each other, from his background, economic status, jobs, etc.

nope, i didn't bullshiting u.. i dont have IDGS ID u know... i even didn't play dota for 6 months...

now, i just play....err...BF 2 online, and i'm waiting for L2 Kamael