SIZ's diary the diary of a Vampire

I'm just a vampire, I used to drink my own blood but I don't wanna taste others because it gonna be so complicated in the future..
Tonight I wonder.. There's a person that hold me that I can say She can change me.. She's my everything for me even she's not mine.. I care about her.. I'm just an introvert trying to socialize even I know it's so tiring for me to be honest.. But I try to change my personality even it's hard actually.. How come an introvert socialize? And tonight maybe I gonna drink my own blood again see ya..

Right now.. I'm still thinking about my last night dream.. If it's my sign if my time has come then I'm hopeless.. I smell her perfume and I think she's near by.. I miss her a lot.. And if today is my last time.. Then I'm hopeless..

To night.. My lungs got hurts again..
It's blood yes it's blood I'm chocking and the blood comes out.. Every night my lungs getting worst.. I don't know for how long I can hold on.. For how long I can fight.. But.. I won't give up.. I'll fight for her.. For the one that inside my heart the one that I love.. I care about her.. I don't care if she is care about me or not.. But.. I won't stop caring on her.. I love you ****** ********

Once I can't feel my heart anymore the only thing I can do is making a joke of myself..
I can't smile or even laugh.. This heart it's break into pieces and I still smile.. Even it just a fake smile.. I don't care about how hurts it will be but I will stand there right there for you

I'm tired to socialize.. An introvert go inside the society? What a great achievement I've been through..
But again it's useless.. As usual like before they only judge the book by their cover.. Too many piece of **** in this world.. I laugh when they said I've to change hey man.. You have to look into the mirror.. Look at yourself *****.. Who are you? Do you have any rights to judge me? Piece of ****!